Remember
by Mariposart
Summary: Everything was going well for Otis at firehouse 51, though for a few days he seems concerned. When the past come back to haunt their friend, the firehouse tries to understand What it passes but... Will they ger there before everything pass out ? (All charachters of season 5)
1. Forget last night

**Chapter 11 : Forget last night**

It was wet this morning in Chicago. A gentle light without sun filtered into the living room carefully arranged by Brett. One morning like any other in itself for an autumn day in Ilinois. The apartment was quiet, empty of human activity until ...

"You're still live on CBS radio, it's 6 o'clock!" . The crackle of the radio sounded in Otis's room, generating a grunt of discontent. From under the duvet, a hand came out abruptly. Seeking the alarm clock, Otis blindly pressed the button on the small metal box. His arm fell heavily on the side of the bed.

The silence had returned, the few ray of light which reached the room lit up the place; clothes littered the floor, the drawers of the chests of drawers were removed from their place, a bottle of Imperia vodka dragged near the night table, it also stripped of its unique drawer as it was knocked down to the ground.

"... weather is always beautiful September 7 with ...". The same voice of radio presenter echoed, but this time much farther, as smothered by the walls. A weary sigh emerged from the sheets. Otis turned slowly, fully realizing the effects of the day before. He passed a hand over his face, lingering over his eyes, as if to adjust the sharpness of his sight. Lying on his back, motionless, the fireman had the impression of pitching. He stood up slightly, leaning on the second pillow he never used, just like the right half of the bed.

All these years spent in twin beds had it as formatted. Yet it had been a month since he had been forced to sleep in a double bed. When one of the joists supporting the upper bed had broken, Otis had no choice but to part with it ... reluctantly. Finally, that was the watered down version served by his roommates.

Thus, when a first bar had withdrawn from the ladder, Otis had become accustomed to spanning the missing space until the day when, pressed by time, he had forgotten this hole and had spread out full length on the floor. The young man then made the decision to use only the bottom bed, but then one of the beams supporting the top bed had broken under the weight of time. Otis then noticed it when he returned from his guard. Cruz did not understand why his friend was rushing out, while a few minutes earlier both spoke only of the joy of joining their respective beds. Otis then had a perfect timing; a one meter long board under his arm, he went into the apartment while Brett was showering and Cruz was sleeping soundly in his room. With a few efforts, the board fixed in such a way that it supports the weight of the top, the piece of furniture was then patched up for the second time. In spite of a night far enough away from the uncertainty of his procedure, Otis had relaxed his attention after a week, judging his good as new.

A few days later, however, Brett had been awakened by a deafening sound. Jumping out of bed, she grabbed her baseball bat that was taking dust in a corner. Since the burglary of her apartment a few years ago, she always made sure to have enough to defend herself at hand, despite the fact that she lives with two guys, both firefighters in addition. Prudently opening the door, she went to the rooms of Cruz and Otis where the noise came from. When she saw in the dark a male figure, the ambulance raised her bat but her movement was spotted by the shadow. She turned around leaving Cruz and Brett in a frightened and tense face to face

\- What are you doing with this bat? had whispered Cruz, disconcerted by the situation

\- I heard a strange noise, we never know. She replied in the same tone. Sylvie pointed to the doors in front of her roommates. "It came from this side, I'm pretty sure. If it's you, tell me now that I can go back to bed! In her blue pajamas with pandas on her pants, she looked like a little girl, a frightened and yet resolutely brave girl with her wooden bat.

\- I'm not responsible ! -s'insurgea Cruz- I had just finished a Skype with Leon when I heard like a boom in the apartment.

Brett looked him in the eye, as if to make sure he was telling the truth.

"So it's from Otis's room," she murmured.

She walked over to the pine door, which was shining with an iron plate on which was written "Otis, knock before entering" with many small stars, in the line of Star Trek. Followed closely by Cruz, the young woman gently squeezed her ear to the door

\- What are you playing at ?

Cruz did not understand it, it was two o'clock in the morning, he was tired, and all this tension for an unfortunate noise exasperated him to the highest point. Brett peeled off the door, looked at him for a few seconds, then repositioned herself, her ear pressed against the cold wood.

\- If one falls on a part of legs in the air I prefer to prepare psychologically.

Cruz pouffa

\- No, but wait, we talk about Otis there

\- Or a thief who has entered through his window, knocked him out and is in the process of robbing his entire collection of Star Wars

\- And why not a Russian psychopath who, bloodthirsty, has just killed him and is about to attack us once a KGB code found in his socks?

\- You're joking. (white) is not it?

The fireman raised his eyes to heaven when a huge crunch was heard from the other side of the door, followed by groans vaguely resembling insults. Brett and Cruz exchanged a bewildered look. Cruz pushed Brett slightly to the side and quickly tapped, trying to open the door, but the door was locked.

\- Otis ?! It's Cruz, how's it going?

A silence. Brett stared at the door before speaking in turn.

\- Otis, open or break the door.

Cruz raised an eyebrow and stared at her

\- It would not be the first time. Let a door open, I mean. The young woman explained

"Everything's okay, guys, go back to bed, everything's fine!

Otis's voice echoed on the other side.

\- You're sure ? What was that noise?

"I would bet more on the Russian spy after reflection," Cruz said with a smirk. And it all seems to me like a real torture session

Brett was split between a furious desire to laugh and a slight anxiety. This was reinforced when, once again, a crack followed by a tumult resounded.

\- Damn it!

\- Otis? Open or I swear I do not hesitate to break this door!

Cruz and Brett looked at each other, again the fireman turned around as a key was inserted into the lock. The door opened on an annoyed Otis. The picture behind him was pitiful, yet he did not understand the relief on the faces of his friends.

\- You're okay ?

Brett hastened to check that his friend had nothing. Apart from a scratch on the temple, Otis looked healthy. His check finished, Brett glanced quickly behind his colleague without actually paying attention.

\- What was all this raffut? asked Cruz

Otis seemed embarrassed. Passing a hand on his neck, he sighed while shifting, allowing the extent of the damage to be seen.

It had been the last night he had spent in that bed. Brett and Cruz had failed to choke as they laughed at the sight of this wooden sandwich. Otis remembered it as if it were yesterday. When a new beam had given way, the one it had replaced had not held up long. So it was that in the middle of the night he had almost been crushed by the top bed, had only time to get out and try to hold it until the board yielded and the two beds come together like two magnets. After this incident, Brett and Cruz had been clear, it was necessary at all costs that their roommate bought a new bed. Yet Otis had told them: he wanted to have it repaired whatever it cost him. Brett and Cruz had put this on the account of finance. Thus, in addition to the taunts of these comrades at the barracks (which Cruz had naturally made known to him), Otis had been surprised when he returned one evening to his room to see a double bed instead of the " former. His colleagues had paid to buy it and, although the gesture made him very happy, the facts were no more pleasing: the last memory he had literally had to go to smoke.

"One more," he thought. It was while thinking of all this that the young fireman awoke, still groggy. Otis leaned heavily on the pillows behind him. One drummed at his door but the noise amplified his headache.

"You're going to be like a marmot!" Joe roared from the corridor

Otis turned his head towards his awakening: 7:37. Dreaming drew his time in silence, plunging him into an apnea of memories from which he always emerged in lack of air. That was not what he wanted his life to look like. His gaze was lost on the poster in front of him: a poster of Hatch and Benedict who seemed to fix it. "I know, I have to go ..." he replied inside.

Ten minutes later, showered, changed, and ready, he grabbed an apple from the kitchen floor and stepped out of the apartment. He realized that the cars of Cruz and Brett had already left.

He reached the barracks on the razor's edge, entered the locker room and quickly changed. 8:01 am: it was rather good.

Most of the 51 members were in the common room at the beginning of the guard. Dawson and Herrman were chatting at the end of a coffee table while Cruz and Mouch watched a replay of a Chicago Fire match on the couch. The squad team was already in the hangar at their table, and Brett was loading the ambulance.

\- We should redo a theme party! exclaimed Herrmann, drinking a sip of coffee

\- We totally agree with Herrmann but ...

\- But?

\- We have already organized all the possible evenings and imaginable, do not you think that it is enough?

Herrmann stared at her partner in the same way as if she had slapped him. The evenings at Molly's were her business, her baby. He held the bar like no one, even though there were three of them at the controls, the one we remembered at the counter was always Christopher Herrmann.

\- Gabby, Gabby, Gabby ... -Herrmann shook his head- We did not try Mexican evenings when-

"Yes, and it was in July if I remember correctly."

Casey had just entered the room, took one of the chairs near his wife and sat down

\- As a Brazilian, French, Thai, Canadian, Italian evening ... I continue?

Gabby smiles to the ears

\- You see ? We have already tried everything

"I'll find something else," Herrmann grumbled. And at worst, it will have nothing geographical!

"He would be able to find us a country that nobody knows but to make his theme party," Matt joked.

Gabby and Casey laughed heartily as Herrmann sat on Mouch's armrest, completely absorbed by the images that were parading.

"By the way, did anyone see Kidd and Otis?" The guard is officially started.

Everyone shook their heads at the question of their lieutenant.

"Otis should be late, wake-up call this morning, I think," Cruz replied.

Casey nodded.

Kidd rushed back into the locker room as Otis closed his locker.

\- Hey!

\- Hi, wake-up call? asked Otis

"Rather hangover after the party at Molly's, you know what it is, besides, we did not see you last night," she answered, unlocking her cupboard.

\- No service that night

\- Nothing prevented you from having a drink

\- I had other projects

\- Oh ! And you ? This projects made you late?

Otis gave her an intrigued look

\- If you're still in the locker room when I get here you're late

\- Ah

\- So ?

Otis smiled half as Stella put on her T-shirt

\- Nothing very original

"Let me guess," she said, slamming the door of her locker, shaking Otis's headache, wincing. Oh I see !

Stella fumbled in his pocket and pulled out a pellet of Paracetamol

"I would not tell Herrmann that you're tricking the Molly," she said as she passed the pill

\- It would be nice

Suddenly, the siren sounds " TRUCK 81, AMBULANCE 61, SQUAD 3, STRUCTURE FIRE AT 387 NEAR NORTH SIDE".

 **can you give me your opinion (positive or negative)**

 **This is the adaptation in English of "Souviens-toi" written in French**

 **PLease review ! Thank you**

 **Next chapter tomorrow :)**


	2. On a whim

**Chapter 2: On a whim**

As new information crept into the loudspeakers of the firehouse, everyone began to move. Casey, followed by his team, went out into the hangar, seeing the members of the Squad who had already donned their fire-clothes.

\- We're hurrying! Come on!

As Casey dictated his orders to his men, he realized that their driver was still not there, as did Kidd. Hardly had he thought that the two firefighters were rushing to the truck, passing their combinations in their turn.

"Glad you honored us with your presence," said Herrmann, putting on one of his boots

\- Herrmann!

Casey bawled him, it was neither the moment nor the person responsible to give them sb a telling off. Once the intervention was over, Matt would do the trick. Only a few seconds later, trucks 3 and 81 were shooting, sirens screaming, towards the scene of the sinister.

On the spot, Brett and Dawson were not waiting for them and taking care of the victims leaving the building. It was then that a young woman, holding an infant in her arms, collapsed once on the pavement. Dawson rushed to her, leaving a man with an oxygen mask on her mouth.

"Ma´am, can you hear me?"

The baby she was pressing against her chest had, like her mother, traces of soot on her whole face. Gabby took his pulse, he was weak but there was one.

\- Brett! Need a helping hand here. Bring a pediatric intubation kit, baby does not breathe

The battalion car stopped behind the ambulance while Brett ran to the emergency vehicle in search of what his colleague asked him. The man Dawson had placed on oxygen coughed and removed his mask

\- Sir, you must keep this mask on your face, it is it that helps you to breathe properly. We have to look after ourselves then ...

The man shook his head sharply, still shaken by a terrible cough.

\- Ana ? Did you see Ana?

\- Who is it ?

"My daughter, she was gone," he interrupted, again caught in a cough, "on the upper floor." I was in my office when - coughed - I saw smoke coming in

\- What does your daughter look like?

\- She is blonde, she was wearing jeans and one of those awful Hooded sweatshirts - the panic was reading through the oxygen mask he was resting on his mouth - with the logo of his school on the front

Brett glanced quickly around but did not see anybody who fit the description that this man gave him.

\- Brett! Hurry up !

Sylvie turned and saw Dawson, mouth to mouth on a tiny body.

"She's certainly not far away, there's a lot of people," she lied.

Indeed, the sidewalks were crowded, passers-by and a crowd of curious people swarmed in front of the surrounding buildings while a flood of people kept leaving the building. "We'll probably need reinforcements," thought the ambulance driver. Taking the intubation kit that Dawson had asked her, she prepared to join her teammate when the man grabbed her by the sleeve, begging her to look. Chief Boden approached them, putting his hand on the man's arm.

"Sir, I promise you we'll find her," she said, plunging her eyes into his.

He let it go, with deep in his eyes, a pain that Brett had too often seen in recent years. She rushed to Gabby, letting Boden judge the situation and quickly installing the respirator on the baby.

"And the mother?" she asked, pressing the balloon rhythmically

Gabby shook his head as the sirens moved closer and Casey and Severide's teams landed.

\- There's nothing left to do

Gabby gave a circular look on the scene, dozens of people coming out of the building like a human tide. Damn it, all those people whose lives were going up in smoke

"We need reinforcements," Brett said as she carried the infant to the ambulance

Chief Boden called the command center, additional teams were to be dispatched, but by the time they arrived there, they would have to fend for themselves. Casey came to meet him, his Hurricane in hand, adjusting his helmet, followed by Severide.

\- Chief. What do we have?

\- The fire would come from the twelfth. From what I understood, it is spreading quickly, the joint ownership had just repainted the common parts. Old building so no elevators.

\- You think of flammable paint? asked Severide

\- It could explain the speed of the advance of the fire

Adding this, Casey looked around them : a scene of horror where people collapsed, trembling, joined as fast as they could by Brett or Dawson

"We risk having very little time," Boden told them. « The fire has already ravaged the eleventh, twelfth and thirteenth floors »

Matt approved silently

\- Good. Ventilate the roof and deploy the air.

"This building is huge, there are probably a lot of people stuck inside," Kelly remarked

\- Then we try to save a maximum. Can your team manage the last two floors once you have ventilated?

\- Matt, I have 3 men with me, covering two floors it might be complicated

"Do it for the better," interrupted Boden, « mix the teams and hurry »

The lieutenants nodded, turning towards their troops. The air was already deployed by Mouch.

\- Kidd, Otis, you air the roof and you join us as soon as possible. Mouch, you take care of the ladder so as to be able to transit the wounded. Otis and Kidd as soon as you come down, you join us.

Giving his orders, Matt saw the rescue team enter the building from the corner of his eye to climb the fourteen storeys. Herrmann and he did the same while Mouch stabilized the air and Otis and Kidd climbed the ladder.

The smoke grew thicker and aggressive as they climbed the steps of the staircase, crossing a few people they were heading towards the exit.

\- Is this aeration good? cried Severide, approaching the tenth floor, where the smoke grew denser.

\- Kidd, Otis, report! Matt ordered in his radio.

A crackling then the voice of Kidd crackled

"Another minute, my lieutenant."

On the roof, Kidd and Otis were alternately blowing axes

\- That's it ! Otis exclaimed, pulling out his ax from the enormous gash they had created.

Stella slipped in his deer's foot, imitated by Otis.

\- Now !

At the signal of Stella, they both pulled out, letting escape from the scrolls of oxygen-flaming flames. It was always a spectacle at once scary and magical. Once satisfied, the orange and burning colors faded, giving way to a redoubled heat. Stella took his radio on his shoulder

"Ventilated roof, Lieutenant," she said as Otis and her headed for the air.

Kidd climbed the ladder and began his descent, they saw the smoke darken slightly.

\- We're going to waste too much time going up all those stories

\- Otis, we did what we had to do, we have no other choice.

Stella looked at him, his hands on the ladder, waiting for him to follow.

Casey made a positive sign to Cruz, who passed him on to his lieutenant.

\- Let's go! Casey, with Herrmann and Capp you check the apartments on the left. Cruz, Tony and I take care of those on the right.

They parted then. Visiting the six apartments looking for a sign of life. The floor was empty; the fire having declared itself in the twelfth, the tenants had undoubtedly had time to escape. They continued their ascent and reached the eleventh. Herrmann continued to search, and Herrmann discovered an old lady curled up in her bathroom when Cruz thought he saw a movement in the apartment opposite that he had just left.

\- Help ! , the voice was acute, it was that of a child. Cruz narrowed his eyes, looking for a clue as he saw a small arm move behind what looked like a torn door

\- Severide, there's a kid in there! Cruz said as the teams pushed open the doors to help those who remained stuck.

"Unconscious elderly person" bawled Casey in the radio

"A child on our side, head wound, we must evacuate him," replied the lieutenant of rescue.

\- Mouch, we have two victims, one unconscious, in the eleventh.

Casey released the radio button, waiting for Mouch's answer, too long to come to his liking.

\- Mouch! We need this scale now!

Casey looked at Herrmann and Capp who were supporting the old lady.

Damn it ! But what was the air?

Damn it, but what an idea to change plan without warning Casey, and it is still him who would have to manage the lieutenant by radio. Mouch had just moved the ladder when he resumed contact with his superior.

"On approach," he said succinctly, seeing the debris of a window explode in the air

Mouch moved the air to the window and saw Capp, an old lady on the shoulder go down the ladder while Cruz was holding a child about five years in his arms. And to say that it was only the eleventh floor, there were still three to be evacuated, at least ideally. Mouch's thoughts dissipated by the radio call of his lieutenant

\- Mouch, we're going to need reinforcements, Otis and Kidd have been down for how long?

The old fireman grimaced as Capp approached backwards. How to explain this ...

« Mouch ?! » And Casey was getting impatient.

\- That is, they are already on the top floor.

At the other end of the line, Casey took a moment to understand

\- They thought it would be faster, argued Mouch

\- Kidd, Otis, report! Matt said as he climbed the twelfth floor with Severide and his team.

Chief Boden saw the smoke grow darker and darker. There was not much time left. Capp and Herrmann helped Brett and Dawson with the two victims they had just descended. A second ambulance had managed to escape the morning traffic in the center of Chicago, a hub that the trucks of other barracks would inevitably have to cross or difficutly bypass to join them.

\- Casey, you have five minutes no more!

\- Chief, we have three floors to check

\- Five minutes, not one more.

Damn it and those reinforcements that did not come.

Otis and Kidd were rummaging on the floor, a large sports complex for the residents of the building. Apart from the tongues of flames that licked the walls and reshaped the apparatuses, Otis could hardly see anything with that thick mantle of smoke, and his excesses of the previous day did not put him to the best of his form.

\- Firefighters! ! they cried, looking for potential victims.

The space was uncovered, this made it easier for them: no doors to push in and easier to move around to find people. Stella heard a tinkling like an iron bar being beaten against a wall

\- Otis you hear?

\- It must come from the back of the room.

\- This way ! Help !

They headed for the voice and what looked like a weightlifting space; they discovered two women there. The first protected her mouth with her arm, kneeling above the second. This one was crushed under a huge machine of musculation. His chest supported the machine, revealing only his legs as well as his head and his right arm. Otis and Kidd rushed to the two women.

"You must help her!"

The young woman kneeling begged them, the tears flowing on her face mingled with the blood that oozed from a large notch at the base of her scalp

\- What is your name ? Otis asked

\- Sharon and she's Jane. - she coughed seriously - after the fire alarm went off, there was a panic - she stopped panting - and then it fell on her

\- Ok Sharon, we'll get you out of here, reassured her

Kidd crouched beside Jane. Her eyes wide open, her breast broken by the steel of the machine, she withdrew her protective glove in search of a pulse. She did not see the steel blades that adjoined the weight machine and cut. Stella uttered a cry of pain, a notch running through the palm of her hand. Otis stared at her, in spite of her grief and surprise, nodding negatively at Otis. It was too late for Jane but they could always save Sharon.

"Five minutes not one more!" ", Boden's voice crackled in their radios

\- Kidd, are you okay?

Stella held her hand, blood flowing over Jane's hair.

\- Yeah, we gotta get out of here. You heard Boden: five minutes.

Otis raised Sharon as she coughed and scolded in her radio "Mouch, fourteenth, leftmost, conscious woman, Kidd wounded in hand, warn Brett or Dawson"

\- And Jane? asked Sharon

"It's too late," Kidd replied.

\- No you lie no!

The cough of the young woman mixed with her sobs. Kidd clenched his teeth, his hand made her suffer terribly, and the blood kept flowing. Yet they still had to search the twelfth and thirteenth floors, she could not let herself be delayed by this "little bobo" as she liked to call her own wounds. They all approached the window, which Otis broke with the help of his Hurricane. The ladder was approaching. She stopped right under the window, welcoming Kidd who secured Sharon's progression. While she had already started a descent on a good floor, she still does not see Otis on the ladder.

Damn it, Boden had told them five minutes, five!

Casey, Severide, Tony and Cruz were in what was left of the twelfth floor. They had to stay less than three minutes, the air had to be ready for when they should go out. Especially if they had victims with them, they separated into two groups to optimize the time they had. Cruz followed his former lieutenant and discovered the dead bodies, half eaten by the flames of a couple in one of the apartments. This floor was going to be the worst, they were sure. Casey picked up his radio "Chief, we risk falling on great burnt"

"Or at least what remains of it" he kept for himself

\- Well received. Mouch prepares the air. Three minutes Casey and you get out

\- OK.

Cruz and Casey headed to a new apartment, while Tony and Severide discovered victims in stuck, collapsed or asphyxiated walls as they took refuge in their bedrooms.

"What did the presenter of CBS say this morning? Cruz thought. "A beautiful day for September 7", he was not so sure now...

"Kidd, Otis. I need to move the air "

Mouch's voice was irritated: not only was not everything going as planned, but what happened was too long for an intervention like that.

Kidd had stood on the ladder, holding Sharon, striking at the same time the sporting top of the young woman with her bloodied hand.

\- What is happening ? asked Sharon

\- All is well, you will soon be safe. Cling to it!

Stella tried to reassure this woman. Holding Sharon's ladder and hand with his blood stained, Stella turned for the umpteenth time of the day on her radio

\- What the hell Otis, what are you doing? We must move!

\- I'm heading towards the thirteenth

Kidd's blood froze in his veins paradoxically at the heat of the fire

Brett was busy with the other paramedics while Dawson was near Chief Boden. The latter had just heard the exchange, like all firefighters based on frequency. This intervention was complicated. Dawson saw the flashing lights and sirens in the distance

\- Reinforcements should not be far

"It will not be useful for the rescue," whispered the chief. "Otis, to report! "

No answers.

\- Otis! Reporting ! repeated Boden

\- Chief, I'm in the staircase, I head towards the thirteenth

Boden groaned, the smoke did not really please him, two minutes and again it was wide.

\- Get out of here, we do not have time!

\- Negative chief, I'm already

\- Head, we have a victim, severe burns, need for immediate evacuation

\- Damn it! - he resumed his radio - Mouch: move to the twelfth. Casey, you evacuate

"But chief, you said

\- You evacuate! Screamed Boden

The chief rubbed his chin, they did not have much time. Kidd was just a few yards away from the truck. He turned away to help Sharon. Gabby looked at him, not understanding what was going on. It was then that the man Brett had rescued grabbed the sleeve, just as he had done for his teammate.

\- What about Tiffany? he asked.

\- Sorry ?

Gabby did not understand what he wanted. The man pointed to the place where they had deposited the body of the young mother, covered with a sheet.

"Have all the children gone out?"

"What children, sir?" what are you talking about ?

\- Children that Tiffany kept, she is babysitter

Gabby's eyes widened in surprise

\- She always has three or four to keep

\- Where ?

\- At 127, in the thirteenth

Gabby rushed to Boden

\- Chief ! We have a problem !

 **The next chapter:**

 **Will all firefighters get out of the fire? Will they find the children? Are they still in the building, and are they still alive? Otis takes unthinking risks, why?**

 **Thank you for reading and do not hesitate to leave me your opinion (positive or negative)**

 **The sequel tomorrow (or before as for this one)**


	3. Alea iacta est

**Chapter 3:** ** _Alea iacta is_**

Gabby stumbled as he approached the chief

\- What is going on ? he asked, without taking his eyes off the twelfth floor near which the ladder was placed, while Sharon was taken in charge by other paramedics.

\- There may be children stuck in the thirteenth, apartment 127

Boden's mouth tightened, his teeth clenched as his mouth seemed to articulate dumb insults. He swayed imperceptibly from one foot to the other, always observed by the ambulance. Two minutes, just two minutes: they would never get there. Why did not they get that information earlier? Whatever, he had to find a solution quickly. He seized the radio

\- Casey, Severide you evacuate the building as quickly as possible and Mouch you will move the aerial towards the thirteenth.

\- OK Chief

\- Well chief.

The lieutenants replied in turn

A new pout stretched the features of Boden, his mouth deviating to the left. He pressed the radio button

\- Otis, in two minutes I want you to the left window of the thirteenth floor.

He hesitated before continuing: "There would be children at 127, you have two minutes, report! "

Gabby was beginning to panic: there were perhaps some children in the oven, and four of her friends, including her husband, had not yet left. It was at that moment that Herrmann arrived, helping an old gentleman with an oxygen mask

\- It was confirmed that all lower floors were evacuated Chief.

Gabby nodded his head unconsciously. Good news at last.

\- The smoke is too black for my taste. They finished up there? He continued.

Boden looked him in the eye, still without any response from one of his men

\- No. They evacuate

At this point, Casey and Severide were headed for the window that the fire had broken. They were in the apartment the least ravaged, it was probably in the one at the bottom that the fire had started. They were in what appeared to be an open kitchen whose view overlooked the smaller building opposite.

\- Not bad the view! Kelly joked, carrying the victim on her shoulder. "Tony, the air is there?"

The fireman raised his hand in the air, the body half outside, he glanced. He raised his thumb and Severide passed him the victim. Casey stepped over the ladder

"And the thirteenth?" asked Kelly

\- You heard the chief, there's already a team on site. We're going.

Matt and Kelly had been too absorbed in the search for victims; they had not grasped the situation on the floor above them. They were sure of only one thing: they had to evacuate as quickly as possible. Anyway, they did not know how, but Kidd and Otis were busy with the thirteenth and according to the calls, they still had not found anything.

From the bottom of the building, Boden saw Tony climb the ladder, holding the inanimate body on his shoulder of what they thought was a woman, followed closely by Casey. Gabby had returned, on orders from the chief, to prepare the ambulance. She quickly glanced over and saw four figures on the ladder. She whispered: Casey had gone out. The woman Tony was rescuing had to be a big burn, Casey had not specified whether she was still alive or not. They did not have much information

Brett lent a hand to two ambulances that were leaving, all sirens shouting to the nearest hospitals with the most severe cases of smoke intoxication. The man who had arrested her earlier frantically passed her gaze from the tarpaulin where the baby's mother's body lay, which Gabby and they had rescued at the top of the building. Suddenly she saw him shake, dropping his mask to the ground.

\- Sir!

"It's not possible," breathed Brett, exasperated

\- I have already told you, you must keep this mask.

"My daughter, my daughter! stammered he

\- Let the firemen work, they will find her

\- No ! She ! She ! She's there ! He murmured in a cough, while pointing to the air

Brett looked up at the ladder that his colleagues were coming down, Tony carrying a woman in his arms. She had long blond hair and wore jeans and ... a sweatshirt. Brett opened his mouth but no sound came out. She will reconcile herself to her patient: she must reassure him.

\- Sir, my colleagues take care of her. Keep your mask please

She replaced the mask on her mouth and turned her attention back to the ladder. If she had not been so absorbed by the scene that was playing above them, she would no doubt have been able to perceive that in a whisper the man kept repeating tirelessly, while tears of relief perched at the corner of her eyes: "You promised me"

Otis had just received the chief's call. He had no time to answer. In two minutes, he could not visit all these apartments.

\- Chicago Firefighter, report it! He yelled as he tried to perceive even a movement or a noise through this brazier.

The smoke was aggressive, there was no doubt, it was paint solvents that had set fire to this building. The corridor walls were gnawed by the fire. He did not know why he had come down to that floor. The orders were clear. Even so, if they had followed them maybe they would never have been able to get Sharon alive from the fire he and Kidd. He had to do something today, help someone else. He may feel better once he has rescued other victims. Helping these two women higher had allowed him to forget everything for a few moments. While sweeping the space he looked for number 127, he had no answer to these calls and according to the chief, it was at this number that he was likely to find victims. He hoped to have enough time to search as many pieces as possible.

"Even if I did not have one, I would not leave here without entering there," he thought as he entered an apartment.

The door on which the residence number "127" was painted was open and miraculously spared from the flames. It revealed an immense fire ravaging the walls like the floor and the ceiling. It was a real flaming box. When he entered the apartment, explosions on the lower floors shook the building. The door slammed violently as Otis spread out on the ground, unbalanced by the force of the impacts.

While they were still on the ladder, violent explosions broke out on the windows of the ninth and twelfth floors. Clinging to the bars, Casey leaned against the iron. Caught between Tony and Severide, he did not move. In a few seconds it would stop and in less than two minutes or so there would probably be a huge return of flames no one inside could escape. Not less than five seconds after the first explosion, Severide perceived the voice of chf Boden in his radio: "Casey, Severide, get off! ". They started moving as the radio creaked again: "OTIS, REPORT! "

Stella stood beside Mouch, the ten-centimeter wound through his palm still oozing blood. She did not think of the lancinating pain that passed through her limb. She helped Mouch, she could do only that. Tony got off the ladder. Kidd helped him with the victim and got off the truck, ignoring the pain in contact with other surfaces. Soon Brett and Dawson installed the burnt-sized body, which was to be that of Ana, on the stretcher. They made a rapid examination of the body.

\- Burns on 80% of the body, Dawson said

\- Rapid and irregular pulse

\- Difficult breathing, she must be intubated.

Brett passed on to her teammate what she needed.

\- We're taking her to the Med!

Brett nodded as they pushed the litter, followed by Tony, Kidd and the girl's father, who kept muttering "I'm here sweetie."

As Dawson secured her patient in the ambulance, she saw Kidd looking at her hand. An ugly wound was cutting her hand.

\- Hey ! Herrmann!

The firefighter turned over Gabby's inquiry, she threw a bottle of disinfectant and rolls of sterile gauze that he caught on the fly

\- Take care of Kidd you want, we have to go

The ambulance nurse received Herrmann's affirmative nod, closed the ambulance door and knocked on one of the walls. « On the way ! » She said to Brett. Immediately, the vehicle jumped on the road, towards the Med.

Herrmann withdrew his gloves and pulled Stella closer to the truck.

\- Damn it, Kidd. How did you do that?

"Taking the pulse of a woman," she replied, with a sluggish voice without leaving the thirteenth of her eyes

\- This one ? he asked while disinfecting his hand, pointing to Sharon's head in an ambulance. Kidd stiffened but did not breathe a word. She took a moment to answer.

\- No. Jane.

She stopped, letting her eyes wander on the top floor, where the young woman's body lay. "She's dead," she said without blinking. Herrmann stopped for a moment in his bandage and gave him a pained look.

Once Severide set foot on the truck, Boden houspilla Mouch

"In the thirteenth Mouch!"

Kelly pulled off his helmet as Matt removed his mask. Casey knew they had to evacuate Kidd and Otis from the thirteenth. Within a dozen seconds, they would have finished the operation. As Severide pulled off his mask, the Rescue Chief saw Kidd and Herrmann. This last one put an end to the bandage of the young woman.

\- Hey Casey! Severide patted his friend's shoulder. "Would not Kidd be there?" "

\- She at the thirteenth with Otis, he answered, raising his head towards the building in flames.

Herrmann and Kidd had also spotted them. Stella rushed to his lieutenant.

\- He went out ? asked she

Matthew and Severide looked at her incredulously. She was supposed to be up there. Who was in the thirteenth with Otis? Nobody of the 81 in any case: Kidd and Herrmann were in front of him and Mouch always piloted the air. Cruz was perhaps there, or Capp? The whole story was strange.

\- Who ? interjected Kelly

\- Otis. We were in the fourteenth to evacuate a woman. Once on the ladder, I realized that he was not following me. He had gone down to the floor below. I could not do anything. Summed she

Casey was surprised. It was not at all what he had asked them. Going to the top floor was already a breach of his orders. He climbed up the few steps of the truck and stood beside Boden, who continued to speak loudly in his radio.

Otis immediately recovered the finished explosions, slightly disoriented; he did not have much time now. No sooner had he got up than he heard the chief howling in his radio, asking for a state of the situation. No time. Or maybe just not feel like it. Otis knew well that he had not much time, that the air was surely already installed but he did not stop: until he had searched this apartment, he would not go out. He shouted again: "Fireman of Chicago, report yourself." Only the sound of the fire which devoured everything answered him. He glanced at the room: plastic toys melted on the floor. No doubt, there were many children here. Otis thought of the children of Herrmann and Cindy.

"If that's the case, the parents are waiting downstairs, dead of anxiety," he thought as he walked around the room. Nothing. He pushed open the door of a bedroom, ravaged by fire. He could not even enter it.

« Otis, immediate evacuation! The air is there! » Boden braced in the radio. Otis pressed the button on his shoulder

\- Chief, I need more time. Am in 127. He cut as he walked into a corridor, heading for another closed door.

\- We do not have one! Get out of here, it's an order!

Otis did not answer. He had nothing more to do with it since yesterday. All that mattered to him was to search this fucking apartment whether or not it pleased the chief. He cut off his radio, which disconcerted him, turned and pushed open the door. A bathroom. Otis glanced, but everything seemed empty. Then he heard a sob. Pulling the shower curtain, he discovered a little girl in the bathtub, her face bathed in tears and breathing hard. Otis smiled: he no longer thought of anything except his job.

Casey barely allowed Boden time to realize his presence

"Chief, where are we now?"

Boden turned to his lieutenant, his hand still on his shoulder, ready to speak on the radio.

\- Otis is still inside, he must evacuate urgently. It may explode at any time

"The air is stable," said Mouch, while the chief transmitted the information to Otis and denied him extra time

Kidd stayed with Herrmann and Severide, hitting the back of his clenched fist against his teeth. On this intervention it was his partner, she should have let Sharon go down by himself and make sure that he followed her. But damn it! Yet it was not a child, it was Otis of whom he spoke, of his friend. His friend. Cruz! Had anyone informed him? Stella raised her head and met Severide's gaze, she did not need to talk

\- It's not your fault Stella

She nodded without actually believing it, looking for Joe's eyes. When she saw him help the last remaining people, she never left him.

\- He does not need to know yet. Let's wait for Otis to come out, "he continued.

Their conversation was interrupted by the strong voice of the chief who thundered in his radio

\- REPORT !

\- It's useless, Chief.

Casey did not understand the attitude of his man. Otis had never shown the least insubordination and the only time he had involuntarily put himself in danger was under the orders of this fool Pridgen. It had been a while since the fireman was no longer answering. Boden and Casey waited, feverish, and then there was a sizzle. All those near the truck listened to their radio, holding their breath.

\- Chief. - Otis paused - I have a little girl with me.

\- Ok Otis. Get out! Now !

In the bathroom, Otis spotted towels. He approached the little girl.

\- What's your name ?

"Maeve," said the little girl, weeping and coughing

\- It's Otis. We'll get out of there. Can you hold that in front of your face?

Otis put the napkin on her respiratory tract while the little blackened fingers "You're a big girl," he said, taking her in his arms. He made his announcement to the chief. He agreed with him: he had to go out now. Leaving the bathroom, he had only time to turn around. The luxurious oak paneling covering the ceiling crashed into a jumble. Otis instinctively protected Maeve. The little girl cry

\- What about Bobby? sobbed it

Otis stared at the little girl in her arms as the burning wood fell still

\- There was someone else with you?

\- My little brother

Otis cursed. The burning wooden boards blocked their way. Change of program.

Reinforcements cared for lighter smoke inhalations while an ambulance remained at berth. After all, there was always a fireman and a child who were the prey of the flames. Suddenly a man in a suit rushed to the ambulance where Sharon was still breathing oxygen. His tie was loose and it looked terrible

\- Where are they ? he shouted

\- Robert, she cried

The man shook her by the arms. Cruz, who had caught sight of the good man, interposed between them. "Where are Jane and the children?"

Sharon's tears redoubled

\- Sir, you have to calm down! Repeated Cruz

\- Calm me down ? My wife and kids may still be inside and you want me to calm down ?! he shouted again sharply at Sharon

Capp and Cruz held him back "Tell me where they are! "

\- There are always firemen in the thirteenth ... she murmured in tears

\- SEVERIDE!

The lieutenant turned to his man's call. Cruz and Capp kept an individual struggling. Followed by Herrmann, he rushed in their direction

\- Hey ! What's going on here?

\- It happens that my wife and children are nowhere else in this building - he struggles more beautifully - where are Jane and the children, Sharon?

"Jane" Herrmann had already heard this name ... the woman Kidd had talked about! His gaze went from the so-called Sharon who wept with a loud noise to the enraged man that his colleagues maintained. Never had the fireman talked about children.

"Where do you live, sir?" Severide asked

"On the eighth floor, apartment 84," he replied as Capp and Cruz dropped it at the sign of their lieutenant.

\- All these floors were evacuated sir

"Only Otis remains in the thirteenth," added Herrmann

Severide glanced at Cruz. He frowned. " Alone ? While the building is a real powder keg? "He annoyed

"We had the children at the babysitter."

Robert turned to the red-haired woman who continued to cry "Before, before we go to the sport ... Jane deposited Maëve and Bobby at Tiffany's, 127" the young woman released before crying more beautifully

At the same moment an enormous explosion tore the silent nascent. The flames burned the whole building with a monstrous noise. All crouched down. When Cruz realized what he was going through, he murmured what everyone thought

"It can not be true."

 **The next chapter:**

 **Did Otis find Bobby? What happened in apartment 127? Will the girl Brett and Dawson carry out? How do the 51 firefighters tell Robert that his wife is dead?**

 **Please comment and review**


	4. Being up to the task

**Chapter 4: Being up to the task**

Maeve was afraid. All the flames which surrounded them blinded her. She was hurting when she was breathing. What about Bobby? Where was his little brother? And her mom? She wanted everything to be with her mother. Or with her Aunt Sharon. She would have given everything to escape this heat and join other arms than those of Otis.

The fireman was watching from all sides, they were going to have to pass through the flames. It would not expose itself to great dangers with its holding of fire but the small Maëve risked serious burns or worse. Otis thought quickly, he had to find a solution. He retraced his steps, still holding Maëve at arm's length, his Hurricane in the other hand. Closing the door behind him, he glanced at the bathtub. He was not mistaken.

Sylvie was driving the ambulance as best she could, as quickly as she could.

\- Brett. She makes a stop. And shit ...

Gabby began a cardiac massage. The man who accompanied them remained motionless prisoner of this real nightmare which seemed to him never to end. This girl had very little chance of getting away, Gabby was aware of it. God knows how long she had remained unconscious, a prey to the flames and the thick smoke of the twelfth floor of which she was the only survivor. She heard her teammate warn the Med of their arrival.

When the ambulance doors opened, other doctors took over as Gabby dictated the vital information and informed the medical team of the treatments administered. Clarke took care of Ana, the former firefighter asked the nurses to get the father out of his patient but the man could not move, tetanized by anguish. Brett wrapped her arms around him

\- Sir, they are taking care of her.

The man stood in the middle of the room, disturbing the movements of the nursing staff. Clarke insisted, "He must go out!" ".

"Come on," Brett said softly.

To his surprise, the man followed her without any resistance. Once out of the emergency box, he collapsed in his arms repeating for the second time what, this time, broke the heart of the mumblanciere.

"You promised me"

Otis did not lose hope. He had just seen: in the tub, a bath tub for children was filled with water. The stack of towels he had used was upset. Maeve withdrew hers from his mouth. "Put it back," Otis shouted at her, the little girl immediately executing herself under the influence of fear. The fireman grabbed a long bath towel, so long that she reminded him of the beach towels that Cruz had taken to visit Leon, Miami, and that he had forgotten in the washing machine. Otis plunged it all into the basin: the towel absorbed all the available water. Otis abandoned his Hurricane, he had to make sure to protect Maeve before anything else. He approached the child, motionless by his side, and wrapped it in a towel full of water

\- Listen to Maëve. Now we're gonna have to be very brave, all right?

The little girl nodded her head and stopped crying. "You're going to keep it around you and stay very strong on me," he explained,

\- Ready? he asked her as she closed the damp towel on her little face and stood up against him.

He thought he heard a little "no" but it was too late, he already opened the door and found himself face to face with the murderous flames, throwing himself through the turbid orange tongues that swallowed them whole in the corridor.

Boden was stamping. What was he doing at the end? He had found a girl, very well. He himself was very happy and could only feel a certain relief that this apartment had been excavated yet he had to go out there to save the life of this little one.

\- I go ! Casey said as he put on his helmet

\- You stay here

Boden stopped her with one hand, watching the thick black smoke multiply. A new sizzle resounds like the last time: "Chief. Need. Reception. Child. The communication was terrible. Casey half understood what he was saying on the radio but not Boden.

\- Okay Otis. - Boden turned to his lieutenant - Casey go.

He should not be told twice: Matthew climbed the bars of the ladder in the presence of Kidd and his leader. Boden turned his head. Severide and Herrmann rushed towards Capp and Cruz, holding a man. He did not have to deal with it. For now, Severide had mastered the situation. Without realizing it, Stella had taken the place of Casey and did not leave the thirteenth of his eyes. Suddenly a window broke open. Kidd saw the fireman's helmet burst the glass over the ladder as Casey approached. He was going out, at last. Kidd retained unconsciously his breath.

Brett and Dawson had no choice, they knew it was one of the reverses of their craft. "You leave the patient and you move on," Sylvie repeated, as if to convince herself. She always had a lot of empathy for the people to whom Dawson and she came to help, but this man, so strong and strong in appearance, who had collapsed in his arms. And this phrase that tirelessly turned in his ears. "You promised me." But what had she promised him? To bring her daughter home? May it be safe and sound? To save her from death? She was nauseous. Looking out the window, she turned her attention back to Dawson, at the wheel.

\- You think she's gonna get away with it? she asked him

Gabby looked to the left, checking that the track was cleared. She glanced at Brett.

"There's little chance," she admitted as she turned the wheel.

Otis had trouble breathing, he realized he had no more oxygen in his tank. He swore. Maeve no longer wept, she no longer stirred. Otis began to panic. To cross this corridor had seemed to him to be an eternity but to see Casey gradually approaching them without being able to do anything was even more painful to him. The latter was nevertheless at its height in a few seconds.

\- Lieutenant, I ...

\- Give me the girl, Otis.

The young fireman understood in the eyes of his lieutenant that he should explain himself later. The life of Maëve above all. A panic wave passed through him for a brief second. To explain: he was going to be accountable and, suddenly, this idea terrified him. Once he had put Matt's wrapped body in his towel, Otis put on his helmet. Then he heard her. Like a tiny voice, imperceptible, light as those we heard in deep dreams. Otis looked back: the blurry, reddish landscape was demonic. He had to leave, but he still heard her. A very small voice. Without knowing why, he turned back. He was close to the voice, he was sure, yet he was not too far from the window.

\- Otis! What are you doing ?

But in vain did Matt shout, his man no longer heard him, absorbed by the voice he heard, as if hypnotized. And then a heavier intonation resonated to oppose the aerial call of this voice, as a way out of the depths of fear.

"LEAVE ANYWHERE! "

And as when awakening from a nightmare, Otis saw the flames rushing toward him.

Connie was sitting in front of her computer, scanning the last emails that had just arrived in her mailbox. The building was deserted, all the barracks were on the street, a structural fire. Taking a sip of hot tea, she burned her tongue and repositioned her Mug. For a start of guard, the chief was going to return exhausted after an intervention like this one. Connie did not look like it, but her eyes and ears trailed everywhere; the chief had called the reinforcements and that: it was not a good sign. She quickly scanned her e-mails before letting her eyes drift onto the notebook of appointments she took for Boden. She went through the notes of different colors at length. Nothing before noon. Connie lifted her mug, sighing at the sight of the damp round left on the envelopes. The secretary returned to her computer. She looked back at the mail on the table and took the first letter. "Strange," she thought as she calmed the envelope between the keys on her keyboard. The phone rang.

Brett and Dawson did not have much to go between the hospital and the burnt building. However, the fire generated unusual traffic. Dawson made his way with the siren

\- Get moving! she shouted on a truck that did not deign to put herself on the side. He was eager to arrive on the scene and see Matt.

Brett had not said a word since their exchange about Ana. His team-mate broke the ice:

\- You know what happened with Kidd?

\- Hm? Brett did not understand

\- She had a huge gash on her hand before we left

"No ... I do not know," Sylvie replied vaguely, looking straight at her

As they approached the building in flames, they saw the black smoke of which they knew the meaning. Dawson narrowed his eyes

\- Provided there are no more children in there

"Did not they evacuate all the floors?" asked Brett suddenly interested in the conversation

\- Otis was still in the thirteenth when we left

\- Alone ?

Gabby parked on the pavement as a huge explosion shook the entire neighborhood. Immense flames flashed all possible openings. The two women lowered their arms, which they had placed before them to protect themselves from the debris. When Gabby opened her eyes, she froze

\- Oh my gosh, murmured

Cruz could not believe his eyes. He had seen similar situations before, but he did not expect it to happen again. All the members of the barracks had their eyes on the air: Casey, carrying something or someone was in the middle of the ladder. He did not move. What was to be done in such cases? Go up or down and send someone else? Cruz could not keep up. The man in his uniform was holding his head with both hands, silently crying. "My children," he repeated, crying.

After a moment, Severide saw Matt go down the ladder as fast as he could. To them to play,

\- Capp with me, Cruz prepared to object "You're too involved Joe, stay there. "

Severide's orders were clear. However, Cruz was going to follow him. Herrmann put a firm hand on his shoulder.

"They know what they're doing," he said.

Although he would never admit it, Herrmann was in the same state as the other fireman.

Casey, motionless on the ladder, did not know what to do. The girl's body did not move under the napkin, it had to act and yet it was divided between the desire to go up and the duty to go down. And like an electric shock, that voice that cried out

\- Get her off!

Casey continued to look in front of him: at the end of the ladder, with his arm outstretched and grabbed at one of the bars, Otis swayed, trying to catch a bar with his other hand

\- Go ahead ! Otis shouted at Casey

Matt was already descending the ladder. One step after the other, in cadence. Once he arrived, he handed Maëve to Stella, leaving Severide in the room, who lost a moment, followed closely by Capp.

\- Mouch! Make sure that this ladder does not move a millimeter, Casey ordered under the watchful eye of Boden.

Stella immediately got out of the truck, bringing the little body covered with the bath towel to Brett and Dawson, when they opened the sheet, a pair of eyes dazzled by daylight stared at them. Brett smiled. At the same moment they heard a man cry "Maeve! ". Immediately, the child tried to sit on the stretcher, but, sustained by Gabby and Stella, she could only hear her father's increasingly clear voice. Robert was now standing over her, stroking her curly hair. Stella gave way to her ambulance colleagues and looked up. A few more meters and Severide would have reached it. "Hang on," she whispered.

Otis had a frightful cramp in his arm. He tried to take another bar with his hand, but he could not. The more he moved, the more his cramp intensified. He could not stand very long in this posture. What was more, it was the arm with which he had supported Maëve in the fire that kept him tied to the air as the thread of his life ready to let go. More for a long time. He yelled at Matt to go down, it was his only chance. With Maeve in his arms, he could not be of any help to her. It threw it all over his arm; he trembled. Closing his eyes, Otis tried to think of something other than the thirteen stories that separated him from the ground. As in a flash, he saw again the flames that were pouring down on him, heard the voice crystal clear and indistinct. It was the last image he could have described. The rest had gone too fast: the jump into the void and that aerial he had literally taken to flight. He thought back to that childish voice: Bobby. He missed Bobby. He no longer heard the voice of the child, just that of fire. The cramp in his arm pulled him with crazy intensity but he had to cling.

\- Hold on, we come!

Otis opened his eyes, Severide was a few meters away.

"A few more seconds"

Gabby took care of little Maëve, except for burns on her hands and a disturbing cough, she seemed to be fine. She had to go to the Med with the most urgent patients.

\- Where's Bobby? she asked her father, frightened by the mask and the threads that connected her sometimes to the IV, sometimes to an electrocardiogram.

\- Who's Bobby? Dawson asked while adjusting his mask

"His little brother, he's eight months," Robert explained. « My god ... » he sobbed

Brett and Dawson exchanged a sad look

"He was with Tiffany while we were playing," Maeve explained in a whisper

Dawson tiqua: Tiffany, the young woman who had collapsed with her baby in her arms. Was she really her baby? Dawson turned to Robert

"Is your son brown, green-eyed?" - Robert nodded, incredulous - You remember how he was dressed before you left?

This time, Robert shook his head negatively. Sharon then emerged behind them

\- he had a green body and blue pants

"Are you sure?" Gabby asked her

\- Certainly, there was a cub drawn on the body

Brett exchanged a look with Dawson

\- Your baby was transported to the Med, it was one of the first victims of which my colleague and I took care. He should get away

The relief they beheld on the face of this man moved them. Brett could not help comparing him to the man they had left in the emergency room in the Med, uncertain as to the future of his child. Robert thanked them through his tears, following them to the ambulance with Sharon. Nobody had said anything to him for his wife.

Severide mounted the last meters which separated him from Otis.

\- Hold on guy, I would not tell in one of my emails to Katie how you crashed on the floor.

\- I do not really want to joke, grimaced Otis, I hold more Sev ...

He did not finish his sentence, his muscles let loose. He heard a cry of surprise. He closed his eyes, ready for the fall of thirteen stories. It seemed to him long this fall and yet he did not feel like falling. Otis felt Kelly's hands clutching his arm as Capp assured the lieutenant.

\- Do not ever do that again Otis!

\- I promise you

Kelly hoisted the fireman as best he could. Otis grabbed the ladder as Severide pulled the rest of his body on the ladder. Both of them took their breaths, cut off by effort and fright. "Chief, it's good we keep him"

The return to the firehouse was particularly silent in the truck. No one had said anything. Casey had appealed to Otis only for the extinction of the fire, just as he did with the firemen of the other barracks. Otis felt that the sky would fall upon his head once he had entered the shed. Cruz had kissed him for a long time before he looked puzzled. Herrmann had slapped him on the shoulder before they got into the truck, as for Mouch and Kidd, they had said nothing. Mouch no doubt because he was too exhausted by this intervention, Kidd for other reasons ... While looking at the road, Otis again heard this voice, the one that had driven him to return to the apartment. She was haunting him. His skull sickness intensified. He grimaced. If the hangover urged him to do exploits like those of today, he would stop on the field to drink. He did not see Casey watching him, worried.

The ambulance 61 deposed Sharon, Maëve and Robert in the Med. The latter, full of hope after the announcement of the paramedics as to the reassuring condition of his children, set out to find his wife. Dawson and Brett wished him good courage and went away. To cure, to leave, to leave: that's all they had to do, nothing else. When they closed the ambulance doors, Brett and Dawson let their heads rest against the backrests of their seats. The silence invaded the passenger compartment, allowing to break through some points of the nearby traffic.

\- You're talking about a day ... Brett said

\- We could have lost Otis today

Brett looked at Dawson. It was true, as frightening as it could be, it was the reality of their profession.

"I do not understand how it happened," continued the young woman. " That is true. What was he doing all alone? Why did not he follow Kidd on the ladder? "

Brett turned her head on the other side, reflecting on what her teammate had just said

\- Did you hear what Mouch said?

"No," Gabby replied.

\- When Casey received Maeve, Otis did not come down with him.

Dawson immediately turned to his partner. "When it exploded, he jumped up and grabbed the ladder"

Gabby said nothing. They remained thus, sitting in silence for a minute. Gabby turned the ignition key, the engine purring. It was time to go back to the barracks.

Trucks parked in their respective locations, within seconds of intervals. Everyone went down in a deadly silence. Severide returned first into the barracks. Otis took his time, he was not in a hurry to receive the wrath of Casey and Boden. As he removed his jacket, Stella shook him.

\- Hey! Otis defended himself, raising his hands in the air. Everyone was watching them

\- Kidd.

\- I know what you got? Stella asked, ignoring the call of her lieutenant. You could have left your skin there! she pushed him away again. "Is that what you were looking for?" This time she sent him against the truck.

Herrmann and Casey intervened

\- Stella. Herrmann's paternal tone calmed her. She raised her arms to the sky in an angry pout and went back into the firehouse, grazing Kelly at the door, watching her move away

"Otis, the chief wants to see you in his office."

The fireman sighed, pulling off his jacket

"Right now," added Severide.

Without a word, Otis returned to the barracks, under the equally silent gaze of the other firemen. Casey and Severide exchanged a glance.

The chief was sitting at his desk, his face dark, his face closed. Otis knocked at the door. Boden exchanged a look with Connie, standing in the room, who offered him a smile without light.

"Would you like to see me chief?" Otis asked as if nothing had happened.

Boden did not answer. He thanked Connie who went out. Otis did not realize why she touched his hand delicately as she left. Was he going to be suspended? or fired? A new wave of nausea surprised him. He remained standing until Boden pointed to one of the seats in front of him. Otis sat down. He said nothing, nervous. A minute which seemed to him an eternity passed without one of the two men uttering a single word. The gaze of the chief pointed at the young firefighter while Otis leaked in the direction of the ground covered with blue carpet. And then, like a lightning bolt that tears the sky, Boden's voice, which, for the second time of the day, drew the fireman out of his thoughts.

\- I'd like to know why your sister just phoned Connie and asked if you were holding on.

Otis had prepared himself for all the entries, on the way to the firehouse, but he did not expect Boden to swing at the moment, like a bomb in the face.

 **The next chapter**

 **How will each respond to this intervention? What is this call of the sister of otis? What was she talking about? In what position does Stella feel? How will Jane's family learn of his death? Where does the voice Otis hear? what does Connie find "Strange"?**


	5. Ghosts of the present

**Chapter 5: Ghosts of the Present**

His mouth opened but nothing came out. Otis repeatedly tried to speak, but did not succeed. It was as if he had received an uppercut in the stomach. He would have given anything to go back to bed and forget about the last twenty-four hours. He would have gladly got up, would have slammed the door to yell out. Screaming so much it hurt inside.

Was he holding on? He did not know. And even if that were not the case, what could it do to him? She "held it," she? How did they stand? By trampling him? And they succeeded in stabbing the knife in his heart, even before his chief, his own colleagues and friends.

Boden was waiting for an answer, indemonstrable, fixing his young firefighter. And suddenly, in the line of that day, a reaction that neither of them expected: a slight laughter floated in the air.

One after the other, the members of the Squad and the lorry returned to the common room. As they entered the large room, everyone glanced at Boden's office, advancing in weightlessness. They caught sight of the chief, his hands clasped on his desk, and Otis, with his head down.

Herrmann went to the fridge, looking for a beer.

\- I do not know you but I, I need a backup, he confessed

\- I, too, decreed Mouch

Casey and Cruz were sitting opposite each other, anxious. Matt was thinking. Something escaped him. The intervention in itself was not clear. The lieutenant was rehearsing the film in his head, looking for the moment when he had lost control of his men. He remembered calling the airline, Mouch trying to gain time, to learn that Otis and Kidd were searching the top floor and then after? Nothing. Everything was blurry. Flanges of radio conversations. The leader who asked for situation reports and exhorted them to leave. They had to make things clear. Matt ran his hands over his face before pressing them down on the table and leaning on it. Leaning forward, he looked at his colleagues: Mouch and Herrmann leaning against the work-plane, without enthusiasm; Tony and Capp in front of the TV, tired. This beginning of guard had proved to be physically and morally distressing.

"It was a complicated operation today," he began, « but I want you to know that I am proud of you. »

Everyone broke off in what he was doing. Cruz, seated on the other side, with his gaze lost in the wave, slowly raised his head to his former lieutenant. Brett and Dawson had gone into the room, they had heard it. Matt gave them a benevolent look before continuing.

"We saved a lot of people today, most of them are going to get out of it and you know why? Casey looked at them one by one. "Because we worked together. Maybe not in the sense you hear, but everyone has done the maximum. » Matt got up

"That is what we must remember today. What happened with Otis - Matt sighed - that's another story. The main thing is that the little one goes well. »

No one answered, each assimilating the words of Casey. Silence fell again. With his hands in his pockets, Gabby leaned against the wall. "Where is Stella?" She asked. There was a time before Mouch answered

\- In the locker room - he took a long sip of beer - with Severide

Stella was sitting on the bench in front of her locker. She was angry with the whole earth, with Otis, and more than anything else, she wanted herself. With her head in her hands, she thought of the woman whom they had not been able to save. She saw all this blood again, then her own falling back into dark drops on her long hair. Would it be possible to save his life a few seconds earlier? Could they not have taken the time to get out of her body, but then at the expense of a child? Severide's footsteps cut her off in her reflections.

\- You're okay ?

"Great," she said ironically. "My teammate almost killed himself twice in a row today. We lost a woman without being able to bring her body back and I must refrain from strangling Otis for his stupidity. Everything rolls, "she murmured, glancing at him. "Damn it, Kelly, I do not understand. "

Severide sat down beside her, passing a hand in her back

"We did not have enough time to go to the thirteenth, it was madness," she sighed.

\- I would have done the same thing

Stella stared at him. "It would have been Casey or me, it would not have been the same. I'm not saying that the chief would not have fallen on us, but ... there was a little girl in this apartment 'Stella'

\- I know.

And somewhere she was also angry with herself for that. If she had let Sharon go down alone, she could have given a hand to Otis and all this panic would never have torn her entrails. What's more, this sensation that a detail escaped tortured her. Something had happened in 127, but she did not know what to say.

Boden did not blink. He wanted answers. Now. Otis sat down in the back of his seat, his laugh choking on himself like a woodless fire. The young firefighter became silent again, his eyes staring at the feet of the desk before gradually ascending the bust of his superior to stop in the round and black wells of Boden. It was time to empty his bag, his ability to cry out his pain but he would not do anything.

"You already know, do not you?"

\- Why did not you come tell me about this, Otis?

"To tell you what chief?"

Boden twitched: the tone of his man was cold, he felt almost anger.

Otis wanted to hear it from the Chief's mouth, he would not succeed. He had been thinking about it for two days, but he still came to the same conclusion: it was not real. All that was happening around him, right now, was just a bad dream he'd wake up. The gaping hole he felt at the bottom of his chest was not real either. No more than the feeling of being sucked in by a whirlwind.

Boden detached each syllable; so many sharp blows that cut off his breath.

"That your mother was dead."

A crack. An explosion. A silence. A heart bursting.

Gabby had not moved an inch from where she had landed. Leaning against the white brick wall, she thought. She turned her head towards Boden's office, it seemed so calm. She looked away, patting her temple on the surface. Connie brunette, heading for the washrooms. Mouch hailed her before she ran

\- Connie. - The man stood still, waiting for the rest - uh ..?

He nodded in the direction of Boden's office. Connie gave him a convincing smile, resuming his journey. Dawson saw her push the toilet door. Not holding it any more

\- We need to clear that up.

\- What are you talking about Dawson? asked Herrmann

\- Oh, stop Herrmann, you know exactly what I'm talking about.

Everyone looked at her.

\- We all agree that going into this apartment was crazy. And we would probably have forgotten that it was so if the little girl and him had come out as in any other rescue.

"But that's the case," Cruz said.

Herrmann sighed, exchanging a look with Mouch. Gabby had advanced to the middle of the room. She put her hands in her pockets and shrugged "Maybe not."

\- What are you talking about ?

\- Herrmann. Let it finish

Severide's voice was confident. He and Kidd came back from the locker room and stood just behind Dawson. Stella stood near the entrance as Severide pulled a chair and sat down near Brett.

\- Otis almost stayed there because it was exploding when he was still inside.

The young woman paused while raising a hand. "Now he had plenty of time to go out, we all waited for him. So why wait? "

\- You're talking about anything Dawson, Joe annoyed. "How do you know if he had enough time?" "

\- You saw him like me Cruz! "The latter showed that he did not believe a word- Matt?"

Gabby sought her husband's support but Casey added nothing. He only wanted to have a discussion with Otis before starting his report. Everything went on: Brett's phone rang, the latter got up and stepped away. Mouch and Herrmann mingled in the debate of Dawson and Cruz followed shortly after by Capp and Tony. At the same moment, the sound of a closing door echoed in the building, stopping all protest.

He thought that he had not cried, not once since the day before. He had returned, as if nothing had happened, had pleaded for an evening with friends in the lycee, had shut himself up in his room and had emptied the bottle of vodka he had procured when he returned. He had not cried, no. He was content to swallow the cold alcohol that burned his throat, taking away all his senses and feelings. It had relieved him. He had woken up, thought only a few minutes. The intervention on North Side Street had made him forget everything. All that remained was a distant mist like that which fogged his mind. And in a snap of a finger, in a phone call, everything fell on her. Otis still said nothing, it was like a second strike. In the back. Boden said nothing, he did not need to speak, his eyes betrayed him.

\- When did it happen ?

Otis looked at him as if he had pinched him, awakened from a nightmare

"Last night," he said in a whisper. "I was going to talk about it today," he apologized even lower, even if it was a shameless lie.

Boden looked at his knotted hands, searching for his words

"How long had she been sick?"

Otis did not move. His mouth went in a sad smile. He did not know. How could he have known? He nodded his head; it had to be, after all.

"I'm not going to dwell on the subject, Otis. What happened today is ancient history, we forget. But. » Boden looked him straight in the eye. "If you disobey even one of my orders, you will be suspended."

The two firemen looked at each other in silence. Otis nodded. "I would like to take a few days." This time it was Boden who nodded. They sat down, taking a few more seconds, as if to realize what they had just exchanged. Otis stood up, his fiery outfit weighing on his tired body left behind an acrid smell of burnt. Then, with his hand clenched on the window, leaving his back at Boden's sight, he was about to leave. Boden had turned his head and closed his eyes.

"I'd rather the others keep to the bare minimum."

Boden looked up at the frozen silhouette. He did not like secrets in his barracks. It always ended in a bloodbath. " I can count on you ? ". Boden made no reply, Otis opened the door and left. The chief had not replied, it was not necessary, Otis understood.

They all pretended to be busy, and yet everyone saw him pass. For his part, with his hands in the pockets of his jacket, his eyes lowered, Otis did not see them. He was elsewhere. He went to the locker rooms, followed by the smell of fire, harassed by the same image and those two voices that intermingled: those of his mother and the child he had not been able to save. As he passed by, he did not feel the weight of his glances, only that of guilt. Oppressive. Stranglekelp. He had to leave here. Let him take the road, which he rolls as he did after the assault of Katie. He would stop at the same place as the day before and swallow his sorrow near the lake.

Getting rid of his outfit, Otis opened his locker and pulled out the t-shirt he had donned this morning. As he pulled the badge out of the department, he saw Kidd out of the corner of his eye. She was near him. She probably hated him, too, but she was there. Strangely, it did him good: to know it with him, but also that someone wanted him as much as he wanted. Stella sat behind her friend. She stared at him, he felt it.

Otis slipped on his top, closed his locker in a metallic sound, and leaned against the icy iron. He stared at her feet and without realizing it, began to trust herself to the one he considered his best friend.

\- I heard someone as we were going to get the girl and me out.

Kidd stared at him, "I thought we had succeeded, except that this woman in the fourteenth would not have left anyone behind. ". Otis bit his lip, looking up. "And then I heard him. A very small voice. And I had not seen anything; I had no time left. But that voice, dammit ... "Otis stopped. "I had to go back to Stella. I could not leave a kid behind and yet that's what I did "

"Why did you go to the thirteenth?"

\- Come on ! You would have done the same thing in my place

\- It does not resemble you Otis

They looked at each other, from sadness to the depths of their eyes, from the relief lurking in their hearts and their heads full of regrets. " I am sorry. These words slammed inside Stella, echoed everywhere in her, imprinting in every inch of her skin.

"I did not want to frighten you," he went on, without noticing the reaction of his friend.

She still felt this horrible sensation: something that anonymously taunted her, leaving her on the side of the road. Otis took his sack and leaned on the padlock. As he was about to take the door, a pressure held him back and made him turn round. Stella examined him in the eyes, then took him in his arms. And this gesture, however simple it might be between two friends, proved to be full of meaning.

"There was no one inside," she murmured reassuringly. Otis did not have the strength to contradict her, he contented himself with pressing her against him.

Stella came back into the room, visibly lighter. Strangely, a certain activity seemed to have taken possession of the barracks. Herrmann and Mouch were playing cards. Cruz and Capp were sitting in front of the screen, Gabby a little apart. Kidd walked over to the counter to get a cup of coffee, which was all she needed. She crossed Cruz, thrown to the locker room.

"There he is no more," she slipped. Joe stopped dead and sat down while Brett had just hung up. She sat in the middle of the room, her face illuminated.

\- I got news from the Med. The children of the 127 are out of danger, as is Sharon Gladstone. They keep them under observation this night, simple security measure.

\- What about the girl we went downstairs? asked Capp

Brett lost his beautiful smile.

\- She is in intensive care, her father is with her

They all knew that it was wrong, but nobody materialized this idea in words.

When he left the barracks, his bag thrown over his shoulder, Otis was struck by the density of light. The whiteness of the sky, the paleness of the atmosphere. The state of the time was in perfect harmony with his feelings. Hands in his pockets, he advanced. As soon as he was in his carriage, he climbed the steering wheel, put his bag on the passenger seat and remained motionless in the passenger compartment. He looked around, protected by the metal casing. He saw small strikes that remained between them, cars of all shapes and colors (dull though) that passed by him. Dull. It was indeed the filter that he had the sensation of bearing before his eyes.

Otis turned the key in the ignition, glanced into the rearview mirror where he saw Severide's reflection and Tony go out into the garage and approach the emergency truck. He did not think: he started.

Casey stood outside the door of Boden's office. At first he thought of talking to Otis but when he saw the fireman leave the dark mine, he suspected that the chief and he had not exchanged jokes. Casey knocked on the door before opening the door

\- Chief ?

\- Between Casey.

The lieutenant complied. He stood before Boden before he beckoned him to sit down, the handset on the phone on his ear. " Good. Thank you. Still all my condolences, madam. He hung up. Casey did not raise the

\- Otis will be away from the barracks for a while »

Casey sounded the look of his leader. " How long ? Boden shrugged.

\- You suspended it? Casey gasped. Chief, with all due respect, do you really think this is the right time? I mean, we're already understaffed so ...

"It's not a suspension," Boden interrupted. Casey staggered. "He asked to take leave, for personal reasons," he added

One more silence in their day. White. A time capsule. Casey felt that he was approaching the explanation for this strange intervention. Boden hesitated before continuing.

"He was the sister of Otis," he said, pointing to a fixed line.

Casey frowned.

\- A problem ?

Boden was about to answer, but the telephone prevented him from doing so. He apologized to Casey and pulled out of his gruff voice. He hung up, looking even depressed. He looked at his lieutenant

\- Now yes

The road was smooth, the sound of the cottony tires, the invisible light; Otis rolled aimlessly. He had thought of landing on a bench near the lake as he had always done when it was not going. But it was still clear, people would invade space and he would feel lonely. Wherever he goes he would be alone. It was both inevitable and possible, a desire and a fear. Eventually, he parked at random in the streets of Chicago. The city was beautiful, teeming with people, frightening and imposing, both authentic and dangerous.

He entered a small business. The radio sizzled in the loudspeakers. Otis continued to wander, in the rays this time. He stopped in front of the stall that interested him. The music was pleasant, he felt very alone in the midst of all these spirits. And then, without his realizing it, that voice that mingled with the music: without words, without life, just an intonation. A complaint, a request for help and he had not succeeded. Otis' gaze was lost on labels. All these names, colors, tastes gave him a turn. He took the same bottle as the day before, the one that had done him so well that his headache returned. Unless it was the anger he felt.

A horn blow followed by a shock sounded from his thoughts, stopping the little voice in his head that haunted him for hours. A man pulled out of his van, furious as another car started up in a whirlwind, screaming the good man. Otis only saw the reflection of the blue body spinning on the windows of the store. The fireman rested the bottle of Imperia. He walked over to the counter. The cashier scanned Skyy's blue cobalt bottle and stated the price to his customer. He did not notice that Otis was smiling.

They were all in the common room. Some drinking, others talking. Brett saw Cruz crunching on a plate of pancakes, just prepared by Dawson. It did not look like him

"Hey," she said, drawing closer to him. You're okay ?

Cruz shrugged. He was worried about the departure of his best friend. When he saw Casey and Boden go home, he put down his fork. Capp, nodding his head, went to look for Kelly and Tony.

\- What's going on chef?

\- I just received see a call from the barracks 25.

The three missing members of the Squad returned to the room

"Those who took care of the evacuation ... final?" Herrmann asked, referring to the lifeless bodies they had left behind. Stella grimaced at the thought that Jane was among them. Boden nodded and turned to Severide.

"Kelly, how many bodies had you found on the twelfth floor?"

\- We spotted a couple, then Tony found a man stuck under a wall and I was another charred by the flames in the kitchen.

"With Cruz, we also came across a couple," Matt said.

Boden nodded. "Kidd?" The young woman swallowed her coffee

\- Yes chief ?

"On your side, you saw other victims than Madame Gladstone on the top floor?"

Herrmann glanced at the young woman. He knew she was living ill when he saw her nod. "Yes, a woman. But he was already too late. Otis and I were not able to get her out of there. " Boden closed his eyes before taking a few steps.

"Chief, what's the point of making these accounts?" asked Herrmann

Boden looked at his men one by one.

"Chief Tiberg has just called me." Six bodies were found on the twelfth floor and one at the fourteenth.

\- So what ? It sticks with what we said. We make our reports and we do not talk about it any more, right?

The mouth of Boden returned in a mimic. His white teeth contrasted with his complexion when he opened his mouth. Cruz had a shiver, a bad feeling. "Is that about Otis?" ". Chief Boden did not procrastinate any longer

\- They found a body in the thirteenth. A child.

A hiccup, a fall, shrapnel: a cup of coffee that marries the ground.

It was cold. It was an eternity that she made the crane foot in her car, parked on the sidewalk near the barracks. Her thermo was on the seat next to her. She rubbed her hands as she slumped into the back of her seat. If it was that autumn in Chicago, she would not pay for her skin in winter. When she saw the enormous red vehicles entering the hangar one after the other, her heart had stopped. She had thought about turning around. Start and leave for California as fast as she had flying the day before. Tetanized in the passenger compartment, she had endeavored to give herself courage, rehearsing in front all possible scenarios. When she felt ready, her hand on the door, she had seen it and all she wanted to do was disappear, as she did so well. She had stayed in the car, had watched her go up in her own, and not knowing how she was now in double file in front of a small shop that did not look like it. She wanted to see him more closely, without seeing her. Nothing else mattered about her. When the truck driver hiked behind her because she blocked the passage, she panicked. Her hands were lost on the speeds, her feet tangled so well that she stopped shortly restarted, the white van behind her stamped. She did not think: she started.

 **The next chapter:**

 **Who is this woman and why does she follow Otis? How will he deal with the death of his mother? How will he react when he learns that this time was real? Will Stella recover from Jane's death? Will Boden do what Otis asked?**


	6. Day after day (Part 1)

**_Chapter 6 :_** ** _Day after day_**

 ** _(Part 1)_**

Day 1, 10:36 pm

The day has gradually declined, letting the cool invade the air. It's dark even if he sees everywhere around him. He walks, his fleece closed to the neck. Otis goes to the Molly's. He knows he will not see anyone of the firehouse: their guard is not over. He lets himself be carried by his subconscious without opposing resistance, as if he had lost control. He walks in this neighborhood that he knows so well and where nothing however seems to him familiar. It's like he sees everything with new eyes. For the moment, all he wants is to take shelter in the heat. His car is parked farther than usual, he wants to go up this street and observe everything. While moving, he feels the cold contact of Skyy's bottle under his thick fleece; he has not yet opened it.

Since leaving the shop, he does not let go, do not think about opening it yet. It was like a treasure, "a blue treasure". Otis smiled. It had been a long time since he had thought of all this: summers with his brothers and sisters, and their games, their sorrows, their children's sores. But today he was no longer a child; he was an adult. He thought of all these moments, passing the bad ones in silence, seeing faces again, listening to voices that had disappeared. Besides, he no longer heard that of apartment 127, nor that of his mother. They had dissipated as he plunged into his memories.

Arriving in front of the Molly's, the fireman felt lost, like a small dark silhouette facing the imposing facade of the pub. Otis rummaged through one of his pockets and pulled out a key. The bar was closed like every day they were on duty. It was dark, slightly chilly. When he pushed the switch, the small lights hung above the bar blinked. Otis looked at his bar, or at least their bar at Herrmann, Dawson, and him. He felt at home. The young man glanced at the oak bar, the dozens of bottles that reminded him of his visit, a few hours earlier, in the small business of Randolph Avenue. Suddenly, this place seemed too warm, too happy for him. He did not want to think of good things when he had just lost his mother. It would have been disrespectful. When he turned off the lights, preparing to leave, he felt the weight of the darkness on him. It did him good. As he closed the door so dear to Dawson's eyes, he did not notice the car with the blue body parked a few meters away.

Day 1, 11:02 pm

Herrmann hung up on his conversation with Cindy. The children were lying, his wife was enjoying a moment for her, with friends. The father of the firehouse was tired, in shock, exhausted by this day. The intervention itself was not easy but the announcement of the death of this little boy had troubled him. He was just a kid, thrown into the flames. "It could have been one of mine," Herrmann mused. They only hired babysitters in case of extreme urgency with Cindy, but that could very well have happened to them.

The children always stirred him. He could not imagine a little being to suffer in this way. Even seeing the girl from the ambulance had given her vertigo. He would never get used to it, even after twenty years. After a second intervention, without much gravity, in the North, the chief had new information by Tiberg: the body of the boy had been found in the bedroom, under the bed. Still according to information obtained by Boden, the boy in question was the son of the babysitter, Tiffany Anderson, 25 years old. The little one, he had five.

Herrmann sighed. He had gone to the common room to make his call, the majority of his colleagues resting in the dormitory. A third intervention on a road accident had concluded the day and they had all returned, dead from fatigue. Herrmann fell down on one of the chairs, preoccupied. The chief had seemed anxious to him, but if there was anyone who knew Boden, it was Herrmann. In twenty years, one could only know better its leader.

Christopher thought back to Kidd, her expression when she told him about this young woman who died on the top floor of the building on North Street Side, her reaction to the announcement of the death of the unknown boy. They had all turned on her when she let out her coffee cup in a hiccup of surprise. She had apologized, no one had noticed the incident; nobody except Herrmann.

He would not forget to dig this story, but besides Boden and Kidd there was also Otis. Everything was simple and complicated at the same time: the intervention had been a success while curling the disaster. Herrmann had no idea what had really happened and he was the only one. Following Gabby's speech, everyone had their theory but no one shared it. The chief had been brief; when Cruz had asked him about his friend's departure, he had surprised everyone by telling them that he had taken leave. Casey and he had looked at each other, a gesture that had not aroused suspicion, but that Hermann had once again seized on the fly. There was something going on with the kid, he was ready to bet it and that worried him whether he admitted it or not. Casey's right arm stared at his phone screen; his wallpaper with Cindy and the kids. He unlocked it with his fingertips and scrolled through the list of his contacts. He dialed the number and waited.

Day 1, 11:05 pm

A new call, a new image, a new shot on the bright red button that appeared on the screen. Otis was outside the door of his apartment. His phone kept vibrating. He was literally drowning in texting and calling. He turned the key in the lock and performed the same gestures as at Molly's: he turned on the lights, felt a stranger in his own apartment, and immediately turned them back to his room in complete darkness.

There was nobody except him and his ghosts, he knew it. When he entered his room, he reflected that he would do well to store all this mess, but then he took out the blue bottle from under his jacket and quickly dismissed this idea from his mind. His eyes were lost in this beautiful blue color and he drowned gradually in his memories ... The blue of her cold and fragile eyes like the ice of Lake Michigan, the blue of the clear water of the same lake when they left camping "between men" and that he always complained of not being as good as his brothers to put up a tent, the blue of the room which was forbidden to him, the blackened blue of the sky the days when everything rocks ...

Looking back, he reflected that his childhood had been happy, even if it had been difficult to make his place as a kid: his older brothers found him too young to be useful to anything other than to obey them while his sister had spent the majority of her life between teenage and independence crises while living under the same roof. All his life he had been a baby for his loved ones. He was never taken seriously, neither by his parents nor by his brothers and sisters. Even the day he had told them he was entering the fire academy, they had all smiled innocently, like a child who promises to go into space one day. But, the night after his first day as a rookie, when they saw him coming back smeared with soot, when they understood from his resigned look that it was not a joke, just a dream come true. realized; they had all tried to dissuade him. From non-existent, he had become primordial. At that moment, nothing and no one would have made him change his mind. It was a promise for him, but also ...

Otis felt his pocket vibrate again. He winced at the sight of what appeared in dark red: twelve missed calls, four voice messages and thirty-six text messages. The young fireman smirked: they were going to play, as his brothers did during their high school years. He got rid of his jacket and put it on his desk chair, put the bottle on the table and a shot glass from one of the few drawers still in place. He filled the glass to the brim when a new vibration shook the phone. Otis cast a quick glance; an essay, a shot, a burn that runs down his body, which ravages his heart and allows him, painlessly, to escape the ghosts of the present.

Day 1, 11:14 pm

The same click after the same intonations. He heard his voice but not as he would have wanted

"Yeah, Otis it's me ... Listen bro, I do not know what happened with the leader but if you want to talk about it, I'm here. Call me, please, I'm worried. "

Cruz hung up. He was in the corridor leading from the dormitory to the common room. It was already the eleventh message he left to his friend and still no answer. Just that voice in the answering machine, cheerful, funny that told him he would call him back quickly. He did not believe it. It was the first time that kind of thing had happened to Otis. Never before had he had such behavior. Joe panicked suddenly, imagining the worst disasters: what if all this was due to the return of the disease? Or if Keeler resurfaced after his mysterious disappearance? Cruz considered a whole series of scenarios in his panicked mind. What if he had met somebody with bad intentions at his high school meeting the day before? If he had financial problems? Yes ? If only he knew...

All his thoughts were turned towards Otis and their morning intervention. He had missed so little in the locker room... Just as his friend had probably missed this kid.

Another nine hours and he could support his best friend, do what he had to do. Cruz slowly recovered: everything was going to work out, Otis was going to wait for the end of his suspension, to return to 51 and everything would be back to normal. Just nine hours to wait. Wait and call: that's all he had left to do.

Joe recomposed Otis' number for the twelfth time and took a chair beside Herrmann.

Day 1, 11h30 pm

His alarm rang. Sasha cursed as she searched through her purse, taking away chewing gum, cash receipts, coins, a tube of lipstick and many other trinkets she had to get rid of for a while. moment already. His shrink, an old embittered that she did not appreciate more than that, had explained to him that all that she carried of useless served her to fill a lack. She had laughed at him. A lack, and what exactly? He did not know his case, psy or not.

She shivered. She had forgotten the freshness of Chicago under the sun of Los Angeles, then San Francisco. She felt like a little girl back in a big treasure hunt with a huge surprise. It reminded him of memories, such good memories. She looked out the window if anything had moved in the building since it had entered, but nothing. Only a third light that had disappeared as quickly as it had appeared. She was lucky to find him after his foolish escape to the store. It had to be recognized, the luck was on his side: without this parking space in a dark alley which, certainly, had recalled less happy memories, she could never have followed him home. This old psychic bastard was right on one point: when everything seemed out of control, it was better to stop and think. "The solution will come from itself," he told him. She would never have believed, stuck on that old, upturned armchair that greeted him squeakily that this ridiculous advice would serve him.

Sasha was shaking, she did not know exactly why, and she preferred to ignore him. She was disappointed with her and her fear. What would it cost him to meet him and tell him... but tell him what? What would she tell him when she saw him? There was so much she wanted to say to her without words to scream at how she felt.

The young woman leaned into the back of her seat, peeping out at the time the radio set in her car was showing. She had booked a room at the hotel for the week, picked up her old Chevrolet from the garage she had been renting for more than a decade, and set out to meet him after so long. It was as simple as that, at least it should have been if she had not deflated. Sacha rubbed his hands in the hope of warming up, somewhere too to make sure all of this was true. She took a last look at the third floor of the building where he had entered, but the darkness alone seemed to inhabit him.

The young woman put her hands on the wheel, ready to go.

Day 1, 11:32 pm

Casey wrote his report, locked in his tiny office. As he wrote, all the events of the day intertwined perfectly with each other. He had not spoken to his team or Severide yet. He and the chief agreed that they would announce the reasons for Otis' departure at the end of the guard. If they were deprived of one of theirs for a moment, it was the uncomfortable feeling of not having realized anything that irritated the lieutenant. Matt put down his pen, exhausted.

Three interventions, forty-six wounded, three in critical condition, eight dead and the confidence of one man less. Of all these figures it was the latter who tickled it. He did not know exactly how or when, but he lost control of one of his own. It could only be that! How do you explain the fact that Otis has hidden from him the death of his mother and this reckless risk taking on North Side Street? What's more, Gabby was right: going back into the 127 when everything was threatening to explode was pure suicide. Especially since little Maeve was safe. Had he spotted Tyler whose body had been discovered by the barracks? Everything was confusing for Matt, his report too. He had to deliver it to Boden before midnight. It did not leave him much time, only blank spaces on his report sheet. The night was long, and yet he was not going to complain about the chance of spending another night with those he was holding.

He needed Otis's report but he did not respond to any of his messages. He had lost control. And to say that when he filled this paperwork, none of his men suspected what was happening. However, Boden and he had decided to talk to them before but the operations were chained, the phone calls flocked to the line of the leader and none of them had found the right time. When the guard became calmer, the chief and he agreed to talk to them the next day. Thus, at dawn, when the barracks woke up, the truth, as dim as it was, would light their morning.

Day 1, 11:59 pm

In ten minutes, more than thirteen shots, five more and it was twenty, a few seconds later there were still droplets at the bottom of the bottle cobalt blue so valuable that Otis had brought back. His head was just spinning, yet it could not be said that he had been paying attention to the alcohol, only the opposite. He had not eaten anything since morning except for a sandwich bought on the go out of the small neighborhood store. And apart from the vague feeling of not controlling anything, he did not feel confused enough to forget what he had seen.

While searching his room, Otis had found another bottle, half empty however. Now she was completely so too. But nothing worked: he was still suffering so much. He had then stood up, not without some difficulty and had left the apartment, a warm, sweet smell warming him from the inside.

Day 1, 4:52 am

Lying on the mattress, cradled by snoring from other bunks, Stella stared at the ceiling of the dormitory. She was having fun counting the plasterboard that made it up. She had not managed to sleep. As soon as she closed her eyes, she plunged into Jane's, wide open, staring intently at her. Stella was terrified as soon as her eyelids closed. She had never known that before. If these first interventions as firefighter had left him with disturbing memories, he won the prize of the most atrocious. This woman must have a family, a boyfriend or even a husband. Would they ever see his body again? The flames were so close when they had to leave ...

Stella stood up, annoyed. She would not be able to close her eyes anyway. As she returned to the common room, she could not repress an uncontrollable desire for fresh coffee. "Paradoxical for an insomniac," she thought. As she grabbed the coffee pot, she felt a deep pain in the palm of her palm; Kidd's bandage needed to be replaced. Maybe she should have seen a doctor? It does not matter, it's just a scratch in comparison to the cut she felt at the soul, thinking back to Jane's face. His eyes, wide open. Like his. For a long time.

Day 2, 4:52 am

The steam escaping into a vaporous cloak, the deafening, steady sound of the jet of water against the window, the reassuring warmth enveloping his whole body made Sacha feel more serene. Standing, her head slightly bent backwards, she felt the water dripping on her skin, streaming down her hair. This shower was good for him. She thinks only of this pleasant feeling of security, trapped in her glass cage, like a swallow bathing in one of her garden fountains. The young woman feels the scent of the hotel's shampoo filling the humid air. It is a pleasant perfume, though too sweet. She always preferred smells more floral, more present with amber aromas that paralyzed under the weight of their strength, their character.

Sasha grabbed one of the little green plastic bottles hanging in the iron basket hanging from the shower hose. She then tries to decrypt the name of the product while removing the white foam that hides the logo of the hotel. She passed her wet hand over the raised lotus of the plastic bottle. She had never forgotten this hotel, she had never forgotten everything that had happened twelve years ago, or the years that followed. She had never been able to erase that room.

Sacha burst out laughing in the shower. God, what was she doing under that stream of hot water? She would feel so much better outside, in the biting cold and adrenaline intoxicating at the thought of what was coming. The young woman closed her eyes one last time under the powerful jet of water, enjoying a last moment of simplicity.

Once her foot touched the cold tile of the tiny bathroom, a shiver ran through her. Sasha faded the steam from his palm. She inspected her reflection in the mirror, her eyes fixed, chasing from her mind the ghost she had in front of her.

Day 2, 6:24 am

The door was slightly open. The first light of the day pierced through the blinds of the rectangular desk. Matt was sitting in one of the two leather chairs facing Boden. The latter watched the day gradually fill the room, announcing the approaching end of the guard.

\- Did he really ask you to tell us nothing?

Casey's voice was settled, mastered, he asked the question as a leader. He needed to know if one of his men was no longer with his family, if he had missed out on that. But more than anything, Matt was already thinking about how the whole team could fix it, him first. Boden knew all about it, he narrowed his eyes as the first rays of the sun pointed to the end of their noses.

"I spoke with his sister a little before you came in," he said, admiring the orange spilling over the greyish tarmac of the firehouse, drawing the outline of the trees against the light.

\- What did she tell you ?

\- The funeral will take place tomorrow morning

Casey nodded, pulling on one of his jacket's threads

\- Something is wrong ? -Matt hastily raised his head to this question, Boden was finally looking at him- I wish he had talked to us about it too.

Matt plunged into Boden's eyes and nodded mechanically.

\- And Kidd? Boden asked. Matt rubbed the back of the skull

\- It stirred her a lot ... I asked Gabby to take a look at her hand.

\- Good.

Boden looked one last time out the window, the sun had finally risen. They were going to talk with the team.

Day 2, 6:35 am

Stella was sitting at the table, she could not help but see the scene on the top floor playing in front of her eyes. She asked herself a thousand questions about Jane, about this stranger. She thought back to the chief's announcement: the death of this little boy. So he was right, everything was a little clearer for her. If Otis had returned to this apartment, it was because he had heard this child, but he could not save it as she could not do for Jane. They had lost so many people in this building. Stella took her head between her hands but clenched her teeth as her palm touched her forehead.

\- You let me watch?

Stella turned around. Gabby stood behind her, a roll of gauze and disinfectant in the other hand. The fireman grimaced.

\- Come on, do not kid, let me take a look.

Stella put her hand on the table, facing the sky. Gabby slowly undid the browned bands with the coagulated blood that Herrmann had made earlier. The ambulance winced.

"It should be me who pulls such a head," said Stella sarcastically. Gabby smiled.

\- You did not miss, it could have been more serious but it's already a pretty nick

\- The victim was more affected than me, you... AIE!

Gabby looked up at her patient as she cleaned the wound. Stella bit her lips, she hated the burning of alcohol. That of fire would have done him less harm, she was convinced.

\- It's okay ?

\- It hurts but I will survive.

Gabby waited a moment, starting to unfold the new gauze strips

\- No, I mean ... you're ok ? you hold on with this woman who ...

\- Jane, her name was Jane, Stella cut her off.

"Jane," Gabby repeated, as if to adhere to what his friend thought, « do you want to talk about it? »

\- Why ?

\- Casey and Herrmann are worried about you.

\- They should not.

\- I met Herrmann in the corridors, you know how he is. -Gabby smiled- it was a tough day for everyone. You do not want to talk about it?

Silence ensued, Dawson folded the white stripes over Stella's hand, and only the rustling of the gauze disturbed the calm that had settled. Gabby finished the bandage and took her friend's hand in his, looking at her. Stella wiped a tear from her hand at the corner of her eyes. Gabby ran a finger on the back of his hand.

\- Stella ...

\- I told you, Gabby. Stella looked at her friend right in the eye.

"It hurts but I will survive, it's always what we do"

Day 2, 7:10 am

The atmosphere is heavy this morning. He cried a little. When the alarm clock rang, he had forgotten for a moment that he had spent his first day on earth without the one who gave birth. He had risen, taking care not to wake the woman next to him, he had already forgotten her name. He could not help it. He had to take care of everything, he was made, and born, to settle everything.

The coffee sank in a worn white porcelain cup, one he had brought back from his mother's house. He could not help it. He did not even know why he had brought it home, why take a used old mug while his mother had just left?

His phone vibrated on the marble kitchen, the hot coffee was burning his throat as he opened the message of his sister. He rested his cup on the worktop. Even under such conditions, he managed not to get into his plans. He always had to be a problem. He went through his contact book, stopping at B, then dialing the number. He heard a noise from the floor.

\- In the kitchen, breakfast is ready soon, guys.

\- crappy that.

He stuck his cell phone to his ear waiting for an answer. If he worked, he had to answer him and if he did not, he should still. Passing a nervous hand through his two-day beard, he tensed at that voice. He did not hear the continuation of "your correspondent can not be reached now ..." as two boys entered the kitchen, still in pajamas. Dimitri kissed his children on the forehead and picked up his phone.

\- Are you ok dad?

Dimitri nodded and smiled, ruffling the younger's hair. He reconcentrated himself on his telephone conversation, waiting for the liberating sound of his expression. The mechanical beep sounds in the handset.

Day 2, 7:16 am

"Brian, it's me. Where are you ? Ana can not seem to join you, neither do I seem to be... Listen. We get the body back this afternoon. We are waiting for you at home for the evening. Guard or not, be on time, that's all I ask you. "

Day 2, 7:35 am

Herrmann is now attacking the equipment. He checks that each instrument is in its place. He has already made an inventory of the reserve earlier. He is nervous. Christopher does not know why but he feels something is going to happen. He saw Casey and Boden in their office earlier, the door was open but he did not hear anything. He rubs and polishes the jacks, he lets off steam before he can go home and confide in Cindy.

As he wandered aimlessly down the halls, he had met Gabby and asked him to look after Stella. He did not have the heart to take care of it, he would not have known what to say to him and he had that strange presentiment that forced him to be there. And his suspicions did not fade when he saw Padre Orlovsky approaching.

"Father, what is it that is worth seeing so early?

The two men hugged each other for a moment. When Hermann released the churchman, he saw in his eyes that his feeling was justified.

\- I'm looking for Brian, well, I mean Otis. Started the eldest

\- Oh you arrive too late, he left yesterday after ... Herrmann broke off, not really knowing how to qualify their intervention the day before.

\- He knows he can count on his family of 51, that's the key in these moments.

The words of Father Orlovsky were supposed to appease Herrmann, but he was only more intrigued. He stared at the priest, not understanding. How could Orlovsky be aware of the death of little Anderson? If Boden had told him about it, he would have told him also about Otis' departure. Herrmann put the jack in the Truck 81 compartment

\- What are you talking about, father?

Orlovsky looked surprised, but he soon spoke to his friend.

Day 2, 7:41 am

Gabby stayed by Stella's side, listening to her confide in this intervention for a long time without loosing her interest, still supporting her. The other members of the 51 had woken up slowly. The coffee was hot, Dawson had just made a steaming coffee pot.

Cruz and Brett were right next door, this one was on his phone, again.

\- He does not answer ? asked Sylvie

\- No, and it's really starting to hit me on the system

\- Leave him some space Cruz

Joe turned his head to Stella as she and Dawson looked at him.

\- Someone has to tell him for this kid! Defended himself Cruz

\- On the phone? adds Gabby

"She's right," Brett said.

\- No, but wait, it's my friend. In its place, I would like to know.

\- He already knows it.

Cruz stared at Stella as she sipped her coffee. Dawson and Brett stared at her too

\- Wait, what?

Stella did not have time to explain, Boden and Casey entered the common room, the dark look. Gabby glanced at her husband. At that moment, Matt blamed himself for not telling him what he was doing. The leader cleared his throat before launching:

\- Listen everyone, I have an announcement to make you.

Everyone stopped in what he was doing and all looked at their leader. Once Boden had gotten the silence, he would launch when the swinging doors behind him clashed. Herrmann tumbled into the room as if struck by lightning.

\- Chief, listen. I must tell you what Orlovsky has just told me

Boden and Casey exchanged a look. They understood what was going to happen but did not have time to stop it.

\- Reverend Orlovsky? What is he doing here? Gabby asked

\- Otis, it's Otis. Herrmann was struggling to catch his breath. « This morning, it was not a Stella hangover. »

The young woman did not understand where he was coming from.

\- Herrmann ... -Boden tried to stop him

\- No boss, wait, it's really important. Guys, is his family, his mother damn it.

\- Herrmann we understand nothing about what you're saying! Capp taunted

\- Herrmann ... Boden retried

\- No chief ! You have to hear that. -Herrmann turned back to his colleagues- it happened two days ago, Orlovsky just told me, it's a crazy thing

\- Herrmann's delivery! Severide urged

"Otis's mother died two days ago," Boden cut him off.

Silence fell in the hall. Herrmann, the first surprised stared at his superiors. Herrmann murmured what everyone thought then, "and you knew about it? ".

Day 2, 9:03 am

A caramel scent had embalmed the old leather seats and the soul music that sizzled through the post formed a cozy little nest in the old blue car. Sacha wrapped her hands around the goblet of hot chocolate she had been looking for a few minutes earlier. She had taken care to avoid the coffee as her doctor had told her, even though it weighed on her. She had returned to the same place as the day before, a boon.

She had gone around in circles for a few hours at the hotel but had decided to come back to spend the night in front of the building. She had not closed the eye of the night, watching the comings and goings. For a moment, she was afraid he was gone but when she saw movement inside the apartment, she quickly reassured herself. From now on, Sacha was certain that this was his apartment. She had taken the chance to meet him, had tried his luck and, like a cat, had waited for someone to enter the building. Sacha then inspected each box to the letter. She smiled as she ran her fingers over the white label in bold.

She took a long sip of hot chocolate, not leaving the third floor of the eyes. When she came back from her getaway and took the opportunity to buy a chocolate, the young woman had the pleasant surprise of finding a fine on her windshield. All her good mood had vanished. She had gotten into her car, slammed the door and put the radio as hard as possible. She was fuming at the thought of the cold, the stupid expectation, the fine, and especially the girl's name on the letterbox. She was furious but not surprised. She had contemplated the fact that he had made a new life when she took her plane ticket. To say that all these years she had believed hard like iron ... and if it was all recent? Sacha was lost in her thoughts, the sweet taste of chocolate calmed her. Ben E. King's voice soothed him too. She closed her eyes and leaned her head against the seat, her fingers tapping at the rhythm of _Stand by me_.

She knew she had to see him before the next day because she would be at this ceremony no matter what it costs her. She would not miss anything in the world to go to the grave of the one who had reduced her life to nothingness. She would show everyone that she was back and that this time, nothing would prevent her from accessing the happiness that had been stolen, for her self, for them. She would take revenge for all the harm she had to endure alone. She would spit on the earth, freshly stirred, which would cover the cause of her pain, she swore.

In his anger, Sasha pressed the burning goblet harder and louder at each of these thoughts. She did not pay attention to small pounding on her glass and only the heat of chocolate on her thighs made her open her eyes, in a small cry. As she contemplated the crushed cup in her right hand the extent of the damage, she finally heard a last blow to her window and turned her head.


End file.
